Raise your hand if you are awkward AF when it comes to receiving accolades or compliments ( Uhhhh ME ) This concept is odd to me, especially in a world where social media is so affirmation driven, so why do we put things out there we are seemingly proud of yet shy away when a compliment or kind words come through? Someone comments “ You look beautiful mama” and my first instinct is to respond with something self-deprecating like “ oh thanks but I feel like a whale” … In person, I’m probably 1,000x more awkward and probably just respond with making a goofy face or an uncomfortable transition to an off-topic comment.
WHY do we do this? I’m not a psychologist so I don’t really have a sound answer, but I will say
I overheard someone the other day just graciously receive a compliment and it was SO refreshing. I want to be that person from now on.
With all the sadness, hate, and divide in our world, we truly need to learn to give and receive compliments authentically. I think we can all agree that we as individuals committing to putting more positivity into the world is a step in the right direction, but also learning how to be on the receiving end of that positivity is equally as important.
I’d like to believe that for the most part people compliment one another genuinely, and without motive. So giving them the benefit of the doubt we should learn not to shut them down, disagree with them, and self-deprecate.
Here are some great responses to a compliment:
You’re A Wonderful Mother
Thank you, I appreciate you noticing that
You look beautiful today
Thank you that means a lot
I love the guac you brought to the party
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
You’re such a generous person for volunteering with that animal shelter
Thank you, I’m happy I can do my part to help
Do I think the habit of shying away from praise will be something that can be broken overnight? No, but I think being conscious of one’s tendency to self-deprecate instead of graciously receiving kudos is a good stride towards the end goal. I also believe that over time you can train yourself out of a bad habit and into a good one.
This year I am striving to be more intentional, with my time, my thoughts, my actions. I truly believe that being intentional about accepting compliments, can help you view yourself in a more positive light. Along with this mental exercises comes pushing aside negative self-talk and allowing yourself to receive and believe the positive thoughts you have about yourself. I know this is easier said than done.
Here is one area I am trying to intentionally shift my perspective: My Body. As someone who is 30 weeks pregnant and has a toddler, there’s a constant internal battle in my mind of wishing for my 22-year-old rock solid pageant body ( rip perky boobs ) and feeling like Wonder woman herself for creating tiny humans #girlpower
I talk more about grappling with the changes motherhood brings here…but one thought I had today when staring at my stretch marks was…. WOW for 29+ Months ( That’s 2 years and 5 months ) my body has been a vessel for creating and sustaining life. Since August of 2015 my body has grown ( well currently still growing one ) two perfect babes, I was blessed to be able to nourish my son for 18 months with breastmilk, donate milk to four babies during that journey who needed milk at the time, and come April I hope to be able to have a similar breastfeeding experience with my daughter.
Do I sometimes catch myself comparing my almost 30 year old self to my 22 year old self… of course. I think we all do it, but lately, my perspective shift about my body has allowed me to celebrate this incredible vessel that God created, and I am going to try and stay in that mind frame as much as I can.
Sometimes us women almost have to fake it until we make it with the self-confidence stuff. Now I don’t mean pretending to be confident when you’re really not ( lets try and keep it real if we can ) I’m more saying sometimes it takes a little push to get our minds right, and those things dont have to be earth-shattering revelations.
Example: When I was competing in pageants I would always brush my teeth right before the competition. Could the judges smell my breath or tell that my teeth were freshly cleaned, I highly doubt it. Did it make me feel beautiful, fresh, and ready to rock? Yes. So if that simple act helped me shine even 1% brighter throughout the competition then it was worth it.
Now I do those same little things to help give me a little boost if I’m feeling down or need a little push. Putting a little makeup on, or wearing perfume can honestly turn my mindset around even if it’s only for a little while. This pregnancy I also made sure that I had ( more ) than enough maternity clothes that made me feel good about myself, and because I have some great staple items like this mint maxi dress, and this pink chiffon floral dress from Pink Blush Maternity I’m a lot more likely to commit to meeting up with friends, going on a date with my hubs, and arranging playdates for my son.
Many of the maternity items I have gotten will transition beautifully into postpartum, and we all know with the roller coaster of emotions that hit post birth having a few go-to wardrobe options will help you feel a lot better about venturing out, post babe.
Do you have any great responses for receiving compliments or tips that help boost your confidence? I’d love to hear your feedback!
*** Occasionally brands will send me products to try, and feature. While some items in this post were sponsored all words, ideas, and opinions are my own, and I had the opportunity to choose items that fit my personal style and that I would actually use. ***